


Ridiculous meetings

by Isabelle_Sheppard



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, i haven't written in ages so have fun, i'm going to make this a series, it's so weird writing smut but i do it anyway, jk Clarke's bi, lesbains
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-02 20:41:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5262803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabelle_Sheppard/pseuds/Isabelle_Sheppard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based off this promt:  "Hey I just followed my friend to your friend’s house but now they’re screwing really loudly in the other room, wanna go do something else?" (given to me by 100hearteyes)</p><p>Clarke and Lexa are forced to bond as their friends are busy having loud sex in the other room and now seem to keep ending up in unexpected situations. As Clarke is trying to manage her life right now she is trying not to fall for the beautiful brunette who keeps stealing her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Towel's and drinks

“Why can’t we just get ready at my place? Its closer and I need a shower” the blonde turned to the girl beside her and pleaded, she had spent the day traveling home from the other side of the city and really needed a break.

“Oh shush, we’ve been planning to go out to this new club for ages” Octavia didn’t look up from her phone.

“I changed my mind, I want to sleep” she moved to lean her head on the brunette’s shoulder and sighed.

“Then we’ll find you a girl tonight to wake you up” Octavia added quickly.

“What if I want a boy?” Clarke smiles into Octavia’s shoulder

“Then we’ll find you a boy” Octavia moved quickly from her seat to reach Clarke’s two duffle bags, leaving Clarke’s head to rest on nothing but air.

The now still very tired Clarke Griffin turned her head away from the brunette at her side to look out of the dirty tram window, there was no one but them on the tram. The trip to see her best friend started pretty good but when she mentioned going to see her boyfriend Lincoln. She knew it was going to take them hours to get to the club.

“Stop looking so grumpy, we’re only stopping at Lincoln’s to get changed and pre drinks, I’ve got a ton of dresses that’d look amazing on you.” Octavia elbowed her side to get her to look at her now smiling face that she couldn’t resist.  
“You’ll be right” Octavia wrapped her arm around Clarke’s shoulders and pulled her uncomfortably against her front, Clarke couldn’t help but smile against the girl’s shirt. She’ll be right, going out tonight would be good for her, hopefully.

The tram slowed to a stop down the side of an outer city street as both girls exited into the crowd of people, Clarke felt a tug of giddiness as she looked at the busy street, she didn’t want to admit it but she missed the rush of the city; all she wanted to do was follow the crowds and be surrounded by the mounds of people. She loved the feeling of being with people.  
As they walked through streets with their bags in tow, weaving their way through the people going about their business. They came to halt outside a small apartment block which was spacious but nothing amazing, Octavia rummaged through her bag for the keys while Clarke took this moment to take a seat on the ground and take in the setting sun on her face.

“Aha!” the girl retrieved her set of keys and finally let them into the building. As they got to the floor of her friend’s apartment, trudging their way up stairs. Clarke couldn’t help herself to catch a glimpse of a girl on the outside balcony of the hall; all she could see was a mop of brown hair and the smoke from a cigarette but she couldn’t help but stare at her for a moment.  
“Come on, we only have like an hour and a half to get ready” Octavia’s voice brought her attention to the open door of her apartment where Clarke stepped in to be greeted by a huge smothering hug from an equally huge man.

“Hey Lincoln” she wriggled her arms that were constricted by his muscles to pat him on the back, he released her from the embrace to turn and kiss Octavia in greeting.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you” Lincoln turned back to look at the blonde as he lead the way with her bags to the small kitchen.

“It’s only been a month, I had to go see mum for a while” Clarke winded her way past Lincoln and into the kitchen to poor herself a cup of coffee so that the exhaustion would be prolonged for a while.

“Yeah that’s like ages” a smile danced on Octavia’s lips as she joked.

“So is it just us tonight or what?” she sipped more out of the mug she was holding as she looked at the two in front of her as they seemed too busy playing with each other’s hands.

“Earth to you guys” Clarke snapped her fingers to get their attention away from each other for two seconds.

“Oh yeah, Raven and Bellamy are meeting us there, I’m pretty sure Monty and Jasper are coming as well and..” she looked at Lincoln as she tried to think ”Ah!, yeah I remember, Linc invited his friend Lexa to come along too”

Clarke nodded along as she listed off the people and finished the rest of her coffee “sounds good, I should probably start getting ready, I’m borrowing your shower too” she smiled and moved down the hall so she could wash off the smell of shitty public transport.  
The hot water on her skin was quite possibly the most marvellous feeling her aching body could experience but it was cut short as she had to get out and face the nightlife of the city, Sighing she left the shower, put underwear on and wrapped herself in a towel that unlike the ones in her own apartment were quite smaller and left to left to find a dress from Octavia.

“Did you find a dress I can borrow Octavia?” she rounded the corner to see not one or two people in the kitchen, but three.  
Clarke felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she realised she was standing in front of the girl she saw on the balcony earlier in nothing but a towel.

“Clarke, meet Lexa, Lexa, meet Clarke” Lincoln’s voice intently introduced them as they both girls nodded at each other while smiling in embarrassment, Clarke couldn’t bring herself to look the girl in the eye.

“I’m sure you love meeting people in towel’s Octavia but I don’t, so a dress would be nice”

“At least it’s easy to take off in front of hot people” a giggling Octavia moved from her spot, leaning on the bench to guiding her back down the hall.

“Just get me some clothes for fucks sake, this is embarrassing” the girl just laughed more as she shut the bedroom door behind her.

Clarke sat on the bed and buried her head in her hands as she could feel the blood return to the rest of her face. Sighing she looked up at her smiling best friend, that girl could make any situation into a good one just by her smile.  
“You and I both know you’ve done much worse in front of people” she attempted to sympathise with her.

“I was smashed nine times out of ten for those things” she quickly stated.

“You have to admit it was a good first impression” Octavia wasn’t looking at her while she was sorting through her wardrobe for a dress that would fit Clarke. “Maybe you’ll get lucky with her tonight, she’s cute” Octavia turned to hand her a strapless dress with a deep V in the middle.

“You really want me to get lucky tonight don’t you?” Clarke stated as she took in the dress, she wasn’t complaining since she wouldn’t mind getting some action tonight either, it would be a ‘welcome home’ present for her.

“I only want the best for you” Octavia came to pat her cheek “put some makeup and heels on and you’re ready to go make someone’s night”

“Thanks ‘tavia” Clarke smiled at her but she had already turned away to find herself a dress so she took that as a cue to put on hers and steal some shoes from her too.

“Well don’t you look fetching” Octavia’s mockery made Clarke laugh “now go talk to Lexa while I ‘speak’ to Lincoln” she made air quotes and proceeded to nudge her out the door

“Please don’t leave me alone with her while you two fuck” Clarke pleaded with the girl “I can’t handle _that_ much awkwardness without a drink”

“There’s alcohol in the fridge, go get her tiger” Octavia lightly shoved her out the door like a basketball coach might to one of their players on the court and giggled as she closed the door, Clarke sighed and accepted the awkwardness that she was about to experience.

Fully dressed this time, she found the girl and Lincoln sitting on the couch in front of the television and as she turned to look at Clarke she finally had a moment to realise what Lexa looked like. Her green eyes were emphasised by the winged eyeliner she wore as they locked with her blue ones, she could see the fullness of her lips as she smiled at her in greeting and how long and shiny her dark hair looked in the rays of the setting sun streaming in through the window. She mentally cursed Lincoln for having such attractive friends, snapping out of her day dream she walked over to the girl to save her any further embarrassment of staring.  
“Hey, sorry about before, I usually have clothes on when I meet people” at least Octavia was right when she said It made a good impression, Lexa laughed helping Clarke relax “Lexa right?” she added.

Lexa nodded in conformation “It’s nice to meet you Clarke.. for the second time around” this time Clarke smiled as she came to sit next to Lincoln on the couch.

“I’m going to check on Octavia, have fun you two” Lincoln smiled at them both as he promptly exited the room leaving the two newly acquainted girls alone, side by side on the couch where they stayed in eerie silence for a gruelling few minutes.

“They’re going to go have sex aren’t they?” Lexa slumped again the back of the couch

“Yup” Clarke replied “Want a drink?” she turned to the girl.

“Yeah, the only way to cure this awkwardness is alcohol I think”

“You think right my friend” Clarke mentally cursed herself at saying ‘my friend’, it was such a stupid thing to say, no one even says that any more.  
Both girls stood to head to the fridge where their ‘cures’ waited, their heels clacking on the floor.

“We have a choice of cruisers, strongbows and Fosters, ew” Clarke gave a grimace as she raised her voice so that Lincoln could here over their failing-to-be-quiet sex “Lincoln it’s bad enough you have cruisers in your fridge, what possessed you to get fosters!?”

The girls smiled at laughed with each other as Lexa added “yeah that’s pretty low Lincoln!” even without the drinks, with the help of each other hey managed to make an award situation into a funny one.

“Here” Clarke handed Lexa the bottle of cider as she hopped up to sit on the bench while she joined her. They clinked glasses and drank to the most ridiculous way they have met someone.

Octavia and Lincoln got even worse at trying to be quiet and Clarke groaned. “Are you trying to imitate them?” even though Lexa was joking it have the blonde an idea.

“Why don’t we? In a funny way I mean”

“I think I need something stronger in order to make fun of our friends having sex” at that Clarke hopped off the bench and looked in the pantry hoping to find anything stronger than cider, thankfully she eyed a half empty bottle of vodka on the bottom shelf. She took off the lid and took a large swig and made a grimace at the taste of it, Vodka was only ever her desperation drink. Hopping back on the bench, she handed the bottle over to the girl.

“How do you not make a face at the taste of it?”

“Pure willpower” Lexa seemed like a pretty laid back girl at first glance, Clarke couldn’t help but feel the need to get to know her better to see what was behind her exterior. Maybe she wouldn’t follow Octavia’s advice and get lucky with Lexa tonight, even though she was _extremely_ attractive. At that moment both girls after taking more sips from the bottle began to make various grunts and moans in between laughing, mimicking what they could hear from the other room in exaggerated tones. The girls were laughing so much they couldn’t continue and they could tell the other two were going to be laughing with them or quite annoyed by now.  
No matter how exhausted or grumpy Clarke was an hour ago, the brunette beside her had effectively lifted her mood in the most obscure of ways.

“You seem alright Lexa” Clarke complimented the girl trying to avoid staring at her vibrant eyes and her perfect lips, and almost succeeding.

“So do you Clarke” Lexa replied, biting her lip.


	2. Plants and Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The Arc, that’s what Clarke said this place was called, according to her the security guards act ‘like they have sticks up their asses’"
> 
> The gang head to the club and things escalate with Lexa and Clarke and...Jasper?  
> (Not what you think you cheeky monkeys)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, it means a lot, really.  
> I listened to a spotify playlist made my yours truly while writing that included artists such as: MO, disclosure and Bloc party, they really helped set the mood. also if you know me irl please don't read this.
> 
> hope you kids got the arc reference ( i tried to be funny)
> 
> find me and my shitposts on tumblr: tiredplusgay.tumblr.com
> 
> I think I fixed all typos and whatnot, please (kindly) point any out to me if i've missed them.

“I’m going to fucking kill you guys” Octavia’s voice could be heard as she emerged from her room, her dress and makeup perfect like she had been doing nothing. 

“Sorry did we annoy you?” Clarke replied trying not to start laughing again.

“Thanks to you we didn’t get to ‘continue’” she gave her a piercing look as she went to the couch to put on her shoes.

“That’s what happens when you have sex while your friends are over” Lexa’s voice piped up from where she was seated beside the blonde. 

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time” the sarcastic smile she flashed was one of her specialties. Lincoln came out of the room a few minutes later not sharing his girlfriend’s aggravated attitude but one of embarrassment as he refused to meet either girl in the eye. 

“Alright, if we’re all dressed and ready, let’s go” Octavia forced everyone out the door and only gave Clarke enough time to grab her wallet and keys before Octavia huffed and lead them down the stairs.

***************

Lexa’s day was average. Her roommate Anya was out with her uni friends for the weekend and she had a quiet day for herself, just her and Netflix until Lincoln called her at three pm to ask if she wanted to go out tonight. She wasn’t really excited to go out she was merely content that she had something to do, that was until she saw Clarke  
It made her average day into a significantly better one as she met the girl she was walking beside now for the first time in a towel, a quite short one at that. It was needless to say from the length of her legs and the shine of her blonde hair that she was attractive. She mentally cursed Lincoln for knowing such good looking people.

Their small group consisting of Lincoln, his girlfriend: Octavia and her new acquaintance: Clarke, walked through the loud, bustling street-light lit city streets on their way to a (hopefully) good club. Lexa cast her eyes over to the blonde beside her and admired the look on her face, Clarke was turning her head side to side from the road back to the buildings beside her, her doe-eyes darting from the lights, stalls, cars.

“You know you-“Lexa was cut off as a deep voice bellowed and a huge body almost engulfed Clarke as it lifted her up off the ground in a enveloping hug.

“Bellamy!” Clarke’s voice was barely audible as she was caught in the hug. Lexa stepped aside to allow the re-uniting people in front of her some space.

Bellamy released Clarke from the embrace as she asked “Where’s Raven?, thought she was with you?” 

“Naa, she bailed” Bellamy replied while added in a lower tone “she doesn't want to admit it but her leg was giving her trouble” The other two nodded behind them. Lexa felt that she wasn’t supposed to listen to that conversation so she kept her head down, pretending she heard nothing.  
 “Monty and Jasper are waiting inside so should probably go meet them” At that their small but lively group moved their way through the mounds of people into a sea of lights, bass and dancing.

The Arc, that’s what Clarke said this place was called, according to her the security guards act ‘like they have sticks up their asses’ that she laughed too even if it was hard to hear her. Lexa had been introduced to the three new men adding to their company, Bellamy greeting her with a hug that trumped her suggestion of a hand shake, Monty and Jasper with a kiss to her cheek; Clarke certainly had gentleman-ly like friends. 

Their group were now jammed close together around a table filled with their half empty glasses and already empty shots glasses. They had spent the better half of an hour chatting and talking; Bellamy asking her questions, not ones like ‘are you in uni?’ ones like ‘so Lexa what did you eat for breakfast?’ and ‘what’s your favourite plant?’, the joking nature of Bellamy made her feel much more welcome.  
“A toast to Clarke _finally_ being back” Jasper’s slightly slurred voice turned their attention to a raised shot glass in the blonde’s honour, a huge grin erupting from Jasper’s face. All six downed their shots and Lexa felt herself unwinding to her situation.

Now after three glasses of beer that thankfully wasn't Fosters and three shots of Vodka it was safe to say she was a bit more than buzzed and without a second thought, agreed to Clarke’s offer to dance.

She didn't know how long exactly they had been dancing but as Lexa moved her body to the music, she often had the feeling when she was drunk that her mind stood still as her body moved; like she was lying in a hammock in the middle of a storm. It was easy for her to depersonalize herself into the sea of moving bodies that pushed her and Clarke’s bodies together, _that,_ she wasn’t complaining about as her body was a work of art that was emphasized in her drunken mind. The music in the club wasn't bad _disclosure_ was playing around them and the fast beats allowed the girls to move faster against each other, neither shying away from the closeness.  
Clarke leaned in close to Lexa’s ear and the brunette and she melted into the hand that was now on her waist.

“You want to go get another drink?” the blonde’s eyes looked into Lexa’s green ones as she nodded and let the hand lead her back to the bar where the girls shared two more shots and two more beers that they brought back to their table. Monty and Jasper were there to greet them while Octavia and Lincoln where nowhere to be found.

“Where are the two love birds then?” Clarke asked while sitting opposite her friends.

“Probably fucking in the bathroom” Jasper replied looking at his phone while Lexa and Clarke smirked to each other.

“You don’t talk much do you?” this time it was Monty asking her a question.

“I’m quiet when I’m drunk” It was true, she always got too lost in her thoughts, though being high was another matter, she could talk a man into an early grave.

“So you at uni?” Monty’s voice again.

“Yeah”

“What are you studying?”

“International relations” 

“Fun?”

“Yeah, not too bad” It was a conversation that lasted seconds but that’s the limit her drunken attention span. “You studying anything?”

“Engineering, along with Raven but she’s doing this weird double degree with some space shit” Raven sounded like a genius at this point.  
The music was still blaring around them and Jasper left for the bathroom, leaving the three of them bored with no hope at conversation, the situation was proceeding to get more awkward so Lexa decided to down the rest of her drink.

Clarke’s voice diverted her attention away from picking at the label of her bottle “There’s a roof courtyard thing here, you want to check it out with me Lexa?” she was more than thankful for Clarke’s suggestion and was more than accepting to spend alone time with her.  
  


*************

Clarke had only been up to the roof courtyard one other time, everyone forgets this exists so there was no soul to be seen and if she were to be perfectly honest she was up here to get Lexa alone. Dancing with her earlier, up against her body, it was _hot,_ and the alcohol only emphasized the allure of the girl beside her. They were sitting, quite close together, on a surprisingly good quality couch that was surrounded by a few tables and chairs, it was the view that Clarke really appreciated, it over looked the city, not too much, but enough to really get a feel for it.

“Judging by Jasper’s toast earlier, I take it you've been away for a while?” Lexa asked while her fingers started playing lightly with her own.

“Yeah I had to go back home for a while to see my mum, she got this new promotion at work and got really stressed, then ended up getting sick from the stress” Clarke’s eyes darted away from the other girl’s and settled on looking at the landscape of the city in front of her. 

“That sounds pretty shit, how do you get sick from stress anyway” Clarke could tell Lexa didn’t mean what she said in a bad way, they were both pretty drunk so their verbal filter’s we’re impaired at this point.

Using sloppy hand gestures she explained “when you’re body gets stressed it works harder to keep you going, releasing adrenaline and all that shit” she smiled at Lexa who seemed to be trying extra hard to pay attention (though she did catching her looking at her boobs), “so when you’re body doesn't stop working hard it gets run down and we can get sick”

“I’m really glad you tried extra hard to dumb that down for me” Both girls laughed and ended up leaning closer towards each other. 

“How do you know Lincoln?” Clarke was also trying extra hard to not fulfil her desire to kiss her (and other things).

“He is a friend of my roommate who happens to be my best friend” Lexa smirked “we get along, how do you know Octavia?” her lip darted out to wet her lips and Clarke’s drunken mind fumbled for words, she was so needy for sex, after a month with just her and her mum and no partying she longed for the slightest hint of intimacy even.

“Um, we met last year, she was a regular where I work and turns out I knew her brother pretty well so we latched onto each other”, the girl’s faces were closer together now. “Hey Lexa?” Clarke’s voice was barley louder than a whisper.

“Yeah?” the girl’s green eyes met with her blue ones.

“You like girls?” Clarke smirked, her eyes not leaving Lexa’s and just like she wanted she gave the slightest of nods. Clarke moved her head closer to Lexa’s as their lips grazed each other’s, “Good” she murmured as their lips finally interlocked. Lexa’s lips were soft and welcoming as she moaned into the girl’s touch, Clarke allowed the other girl’s weight to softly push her onto her back. One of the blonde’s hands found their way to cupping the back of Lexa’s head and the other to softly gripping the warm skin on her waist, her hand slipping in underneath her shirt ever so slightly. 

The two had a steady rhythm settled with their tongues and Lexa’s shirt was now discarded somewhere on the couch while Clarke’s dress was now bunched up around her waist and her breasts exposed. The brunette’s lips made their way from her mouth down to her jawline and finally to suck softly on her neck but Clarke wanted to feel her tongue on her nipples, She savored the feeling of intimacy with the girl and moaned into her touch, then moaned even more as her hands found their way to grasp Clarke’s thighs, the throbbing between her thighs got increasingly more intense and she didn’t know how long she could hold on.  
Clarke’s breathing was heavy and her hands were now pulling down Lexa’s jeans so that she proceed to pulling down her underwear but Lexa had already beat her to it as Clarke gasped at the feeling of Lexa’s fingers beneath her underwear circling the wetness between her folds. The feeling of someone finally, after a month of nothing but her and her hand, was absolute _bliss_. 

“Jesus fucking christ, Lexa” Clarke sighed and closed her eyes, her hands were now tangled in Lexa’s hair as she thrusted her hips upwards to get more friction; Clarke was now a hot mess in the girl’s arms.

“Do you want me in you?” Lexa’s voice was like velvet in her ear as she let out a whine and nodded profusely. Clarke locked eyes with the smirking girl above her and let out a small cry at the pure satisfaction of the fingers in her and the thumb on her clit. Clarke’s head was leant back and the girl’s lips were gliding their way across her neck, so gently it only emphasized the thrusting of Lexa’s glorious fingers in and out of her. Clarke was letting out another moan as suddenly they were almost ironically interrupted by Octavia’s voice coming from the entrance of the roof.

“I’m sorry if you’re fucking but we need to go!” The two girls sprung apart almost instantly, she felt empty without Lexa’s fingers. The girl’s scurried to put their clothes back on try to make themselves look more presentable, unfortunately their sex hair was not doing them justice.

“Octavia, what the ever loving fuck?” Clarke huffed and had pulled down her dress only to be pulled up of the couch by the smaller girl.

“Look, I’m really sorry but Lincoln will give you Lexa’s number and you’ll get to resume” Octavia was rushing her words and Clarke was getting increasingly more worried “Jasper pissed off a security guard, you know the bitchy blonde one, so we have to go before he gets his ass kicked” 

“Jesus fucking christ, I haven’t had sex in like a full month, Octavia!” she knew it was stupid to complain but it was really getting to her, and Lexa was _good_. 

“I know I’m really sorry” she cast her frantic face to Lexa who was still seated on the couch, her face flushed but probably mostly red from embarrassment. “Linc will get you a lift home but I’m really sorry, Japer’s an idiot, you can kick his ass too if you want” at that, Clarke was only given enough time to give Lexa a peck on the cheek in apology while she was pulled off to the entrance back to the club.

*********

It was the greatest 30 or so minutes of her night almost actually fucking the attractive girl she had only met in a towel a few hours prior, and honestly she wasn't even angry that they were rudely interrupted and the blonde was rushed to go help her friend. She would have a good time with her right hand when she went home but for now she felt giddy. Sitting on the rooftop looking across the city scape she was happy to have gone out tonight and as she pulled out a cigarette and lit it, her thoughts lingered on the curiosity that was Clarke Griffin.


	3. Cereal and phones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nice hicky by the way, have fun hiding that” 
> 
> A hungover Clarke Griffin has lost her phone and finds an unexpected visitor when going to retrieve it, (and also fails at hiding her hicky's.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, it means a lot, really.  
> I listened to a spotify playlist made my yours truly while writing that included artists such as: dsclosure, BMTH, violent soho, the killers and so on.  
> they really helped set the mood. also if you know me irl please don't read this

_“For the record, you didn’t kick me out because I was already leaving!”_

_“Jasper for god’s sake just stop talking”_

_“You’re not my real mum, you can’t tell me what to do”_

_“I will sedate you with my fist, I swear to god”_

*******

Clarke Griffin was dimply aware of the light cascading through her window and into her half open-hungover eyes, blinking a few times she became aware of her surroundings, she was in her bed, no one beside her, Octavia’s dress was missing from her floor and she felt like shit. Her eyes were aching and felt heavy so she shut them only to hear the door to her room open softly, her mouth was too dry to ask who it was.

“Come on mate, you have to get up sometime” the side of her bed dipped inwards as the blonde felt herself follow gravity into leaning against her roommate’s leg.

“Sorry I didn’t see you yesterday, Octavia dragged me to her place” Clarke’s voice was deep and raspy.

“Yeah I heard all about that” she must have judging from the small laugh she gave “Lincoln came around this morning to drop off your stuff and give you a certain someone’s number”. The girls elbow nudged her a few times “come on who is it?”

“It’s too early for teasing, Raven” was Clarke’s only reply as she couldn’t help but smile knowing she had Lexa’s number, she would have to make last night up to her. “Her name is Lexa”

“I’m going to need more than that”

“She has brown hair and a pretty face” Clarke’s voice was muffled against Raven’s leg as she felt the girl’s hand ruffle her hair a bit and chuckle at Clarke’s vague answer.

“You need a shower and breakfast, you smell, and I say that with true love in my heart” Raven’s put her hand over her heart during her sarcastic comment and proceeded to leave the blonde’s bed where she called while walking out: “pick up your shit at the door too”

“Love you too” Clarke called back.

Clarke now sat at the small table the two had in front of their kitchen counter, one leg perched up on the seat as she held her phone and one hand holding her wet hair out of her face as she picked at her cereal. Raven and Clarke’s place was a small, 2 bedroom, one bathroom apartment on the outskirts of the city; close enough they could catch a tram to uni and not too far they could be classified in the suburbs, it was nice. The walls were plain though there was a picture of a nebula that Raven found second hand that they hung above their TV.

“Here” Raven placed a plate with a few pieces of toast in the middle of the table as she sat down opposite Clarke, both girls looked tired, Raven’s hair was messy and she had circles under her eyes. The girl’s hand rested on her left leg as she stretched it out under the table.

“How’s the leg?” Clarke enquired, not looking up from her phone.

“How’s your mum?” Raven snapped instantly in a hostile tone.

Clarke looked at the girl with a hint of hurt in her eyes.

“Sorry” Raven sighed “I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s alright” Clarke interrupted with a glint of a smile at her lips “I shouldn’t have pried”

“I shouldn’t have snapped” Raven rubbed her forehead in frustration and didn’t meet her eye as she said “I went to the doctor and I have to see a physio therapist, my leg and my back ache so much I’ve barely been able to sleep”

“Shit mate, when are you going?” Clarke was genuinely concerned for her friend as she put her spoon down.

“This afternoon, but I don’t want to talk about it” she removed her hand from her forehead and gave a small smile.

“How is Abbey?” This conversation was very serious for a hung over Clarke but it was nice to be having a conversation.

“She’s better, she had to take it easy for a few weeks” Clarke began to pick at the paint on the bowl.

“You two fight much?” Raven took a bite of the toast in front of her.

“Yup” the blonde nodded her head “we get along for a while but then something is brought up and we’re fighting again, it’s exhausting”

“When does she go back to work?”

“Tomorrow” Clarke’s short nails had moved to picking out hangnails now.

“She’ll be right” Clarke looked up to Raven as the tan girl shone a kind smile as she stood up to walk to the fridge.

“Nice hicky by the way, have fun hiding that” the mood between them had switched in a moment to playful. Lexa had definitely left her mark in the form of a significantly sore purple bruise on her neck that perfectly matched the one on her collarbone, Clarke smiled at the drunken memory of last night; it was the almost perfect welcome from a month away from home. Breaking her away from her thoughts Raven started up the conversation again.

“So, are you going to call the girl from last night?” Raven was now leaning against the bench with a cup of tea in her hand.

“I don’t think so, I want to but I think last night was a one-off” the blonde did want to call and see Lexa again but there wasn’t much room in her life at the moment for the stress of relationships. She was recovering from a month of looking after her mother as well as the ending of another relationship, she was only with Finn a short time but it was a messy breakup for both of them, putting Clarke off rushing into things for the moment.

“She could just be a booty call” the other girl suggested.

Clarke smirked remembering Lexa’s personality, strong but wary of her surroundings “she doesn’t seem like a ‘booty call’ kind of girl” at the thought of a booty call Clarke tried to remember where she put her phone.

“Have you seen my phone? Clarke looked to raven in question “I don’t remember what I did with it” Raven put her mug down and proceeded to pull her phone out to dial Clarke’s number, after a few moments of silence they heard no ringtone and Clarke began to worry that she left it at the club, after all her clothes were everywhere last night.

“Don’t worry, it’ll turn up-“Raven was cut short as her phone conveniently rang back in a matter of seconds, the two shared a confused look as they saw it was Octavia’s number. Clarke then turned away from Raven to let her take the call and made her way to her room to put on some clothes if she were to make her way to their house for her phone.

Dressed in a shirt and a pair of shorts, Raven, to Clarke’s amazement, enthusiastically greeted her from her phone call with Octavia.

“You’re going to have to change Griffin” Raven pulled at her shirt while handing her a piece of paper.

“What?” Clarke looked at the paper to find an address written on it “Why?”

“Lexa has your phone and you have to look not hungover, that’s her address” she smiled at Clarke.

“Well I am hungover and I’m only there to get my phone so this will be fine thank you very much” she stated matter of factly.

“Whatever you say, it’s already one pm so you should probably get going, I have to get to the physio by two so I won’t be back until three-ish” Raven pulled her in for a hug, the two didn’t hug often so Clarke welcomed the embrace “I’m glad you’re back Griffin”. The girls released each other and Clarke headed out the door to see Lexa for the second time in less than 24 hours.

The temperature outside was reaching 38°C according to her phone and she could feel her legs stick to the tram seat, the bottle of water in her hand was turning warm and was not doing justice for her headache. Lexa’s apartment was on the other of the city near the student housing and she mentally cursed the girl for not living closer as at this rate by the time she turns up to see her, she’ll be a sweaty mess...again.

By the time Clarke made it to her apartment block the heat and her hangover had gotten to her and she was forced to take a break. She sat down on the stairs, her empty water bottle in hand and held her head in her hands as she waited for homeostasis to kick in and save her worn out body; despite her aim of retrieving her phone and heading back to her air conditioned home, Clarke decided to close her eyes for a few minutes as she leant against the stair railings, just to let her headache ease, well that’s what she told herself.

 

Clarke startled awake from a shake of her shoulder and she instantly opened her eyes to look into huge, familiar green ones, instantly she realised it was Lexa who had woken her.

“Oh shit” she stood up immediately “Shit, Hi” Clarke desperately tried to get herself to look presentable, flattening her sweaty hair, straightening her shirt.

Lexa smiling at her, the same pretty smile she shone last night “Hi, I assume you’re sleeping in my stairwell to get your phone?”

“Yeah, Octavia called my roommate, sorry about the whole…sleeping thing” Clarke _had_ to stop meeting her in ridiculous situations, Clarke saw Lexa’s eyes travelling from her gaze to her neck where she was suddenly extremely aware of the hicky she had and moved her hair to cover it.

“Sorry about that too” Lexa ducked her head and Clarke saw a blush spread to her cheeks “Um, my place is just up here” she lifted her head and moved past the blonde to walk up the stairs and to the door of her home.

Lexa’s apartment was much more decorated than Clarke and Raven’s, simple pale furniture with pictures of nature and bookshelves full of small trinkets, it looked so perfect Clarke thought it came straight out of a catalogue. Lexa put her bad down on the coffee table in front of her couch.

”I’m sorry, this will be quick, I have someone over to work on uni things any minute” Lexa quickly apologised and darted away for a moment only to come back with Clarke’s phone. “I really hope the screen was always smashed like that or else that just happened last night” the girl laughed and Clarke re assured her that by fault of her own clumsiness the screen had always been this broken.

“It was really nice meeting you yesterday, sorry for the, um, interruption, and for leaving my phone” this time it was Clarke’s turn to blush, she isn’t usually one to catch up with a one night stand the day after the actual one night stand.

“That’s alright Clarke, it wasn’t your fault, maybe-“ a knock on Lexa’s door disrupted the girl’s awkwardly polite conversation.

“That must be my cue to go” Clarke flashed a smile as Lexa opened the door and Clarke’s heart plummeted the bottom of her chest just as she saw who was behind the knock.

“Clarke?...” The one and only voice of Finn Collins breathed out her name and proceeded to stare at her in surprise as she mirrored his actions. The two hadn’t seen each other in around three months and there was a very good reason for it, messy breakups lead to very messy reunions.

“You two know one another?” Lexa’s voice was barely audible as Clarke’s mind was racing on what to do in this situation, with perfect timing, just like Lexa, Finn’s eyes trickled down to see evidence of Lexa and Clarke’s actions last night and the only thing Clarke’s brain to muster up to do was slap a hand over the bruise and hurry out the door muttering a “sorry” to the beautiful brunette who had to witness the painful and awkward reunion between exes at her doorstep.

Just as Clarke was almost running down the stairs she was sleeping on minutes ago she felt Finn’s hand stop her and turn her around.

“Who gave that to you?” Finn’s voice was laced with anger, maybe jealousy. The words he chose to use _were not_ the one’s she expected to hear.

Looking at him with a confused glare she snapped “None your business” and tried to pry his hand off her arm.

“I want to know, Clarke” His voice was softer but the anger was still there and she wanted to be rid of this situation as quickly as possible, at that moment Finn’s grasp on her was torn away as Lexa pulled Finn out of Clarke’s proximity; Clarke took the opportunity to flash Lexa a grateful smile and give Finn his answer to get out of this situation as quickly as her legs would allow her.

Clarke looked at Lexa who was now holding Finn back from getting any closer to the blonde, looking into the green eyes she was staring into last night she announced “She gave it to me” nodding her head towards Lexa who had the hint of a smirk on her face and then turning on her heel to get herself out of the two’s company, her heart almost beating out of chest but still, a tug of a smile on her face.


	4. Sex and Kebabs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They may have shared a sweaty and half naked half an hour but that didn't mean she was anything more than a stranger"
> 
> Recovering from the events of being reunited with Finn, Lexa and Clarke try to get to know one another, but both girl's have secrets and unfinished tensions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, it really does make my day when I see those kudos :)
> 
> Hopefuly my writing is improving and since i'm in Australia and it is late, i'll edit in the morning.
> 
> find me and my shitposts at: tiredplusgay.tumblr.com

Lexa desperately wanted to run after the blonde that had now dashed away from the confrontation that had occurred moments ago, alas she had to take care of the boy who was at fault for Clarke’s quick escape and now, her anger.

And she took no shit.

Lexa turned on Finn Collins until he was backed up against the wall of the stair well.

“You had no right going after her, you had no right _grabbing_ her” Lexa’s voice was rising causing him to have no choice but to listen to her, he would listen to her no matter what. “If you cannot control your piss weak temper, you can leave” her hand pointed towards the entrance of the building, she would not stand for this kind of behaviour, and she was not brought up to let people get away with this sort of behaviour.

“I-“Finn attempted to stammer out a defence but was cut off by her.

“I don’t care” she came closer to him “You put someone in danger and if she has so much of a _bruise_ on her I’m reporting you” from the un-faltering look in her eyes he knew she was serious. “You can find yourself another tutor, now get the fuck out of my building before I throw you out” Finn’s face was overcome by a sad puppy-dog look and she was a little offended that he thought she would fall for it.

“Please, Lexa, I didn-“Finn attempted to plead again.

“ _Leave”_ Lexa’s voice was low and clear and to her satisfaction Finn scurried down the stairs and out of her proximity. Now all she had to do was reconcile with Clarke, which she hoped would be straight forward. She turned to go back in her apartment and shut her door firmly behind her, she picked up her phone to see that there was already a voicemail left from Clarke to her, impressed on how fast she had called her she listened to it.

“Hey, um, I’m really sorry, for all of that. It was a dick move to just leave you there with him and throw you under the bus, I-, I hope you can understand why I left, I hadn’t seen him in three months and it was a messy breakup, I wasn’t prepared for that situation, let alone while hungover; but I know that isn’t an excuse. Again I am really sorry, I hope you can forgive me, bye”

Clarke’s message was rushed but sincere and Lexa fought the urge to call her back right away, she decided to wait to give the beautiful blonde some space.

************

“So I have six weeks of seeing the physio and-, are you even listening?” a snapping of fingers brought Clarke away from her own thoughts to the reality of her friend speaking beside her.

“Yeah, sorry” the blonde replied idly as she raised her hand to rub her eyes “You have six weeks of physio therapy”

“Mhmm, what’s up with you?” Raven scooted closer to her on the couch “You’ve been quiet all afternoon” her voice was soft and laced with concern.

Clarke proceeded to open and close her mouth a few times, wondering how to word what she was trying to say. “I saw Finn today” she fixed her eyes on the tv, refusing to meet Raven in the eye. Both girls were reluctant to say a word so they sat there not knowing how to proceed with their conversation. The air between them switched to unpleasant, Finn was a topic they both were all too familiar with but was never brought up in conversation; he hurt both girls in different ways.

“Is that why there’s a bruise on your arm?” the girls now turned to look at each other, Clarke glanced down at her arm; at the time Finn grabbed her she hadn’t even realised how tight his grip was but now she could see the faintest of bruises appearing on her arm.

“Yeah, it was a weird day, I think I might go to bed” Clarke nodded once and stood up.

“Night” Raven’s voice was a little distant and as she looked back the girl looked close to crying, Clarke leant against the wall now facing Raven again.

“I’m sorry Ray” Clarke clutched her arm “I really am”

“It’s okay” the tan girl dabbed her eyes with her sleeve “he hurt both of us remember” the smallest of smiles escaped Raven’s lips through dismal eyes. At that Clarke nodded and turned towards her room again, she removed the clothes she was wearing throughout the day, turned the light off so her room was only illuminated by the full moon outside her window and curled up in her sheets as if they could protect her.

Finn was nice, gentle, it wasn’t until the fifth month of their relationship where their calm and loving talks turned into screaming matches to see who could offend the other more with their words. He never raised his hand but his temper switched dangerously and Clarke’s stubbornness never allowed her to forgive him after the screaming matched they had. She often found herself reminiscing in the memories of their early months, longing for the times they would sit in the dark and talk for hours , Raven was her best friend but she isn’t one you can have sex with at 2pm and then have a deep and meaningful with at 2am.  
Clarke pushed the stray strands of hair away from her face as she turned to lay on her back. She pulled the sheets to cover her naked torso and stared, almost a year ago now the two girls moved into this apartment; that first week Clarke could barely sleep, even though she hadn’t been living with Abbey for a while then there wasn’t much to stop her from getting lonely, not even the girl across the hall. So she decided to stick glow-in-the-dark stars on her roof, to look at when she got lonely. Somehow the fact there were tens of thousands stars in the sky looking down on her helped her remember she wasn’t alone in this universe, a year later those stars still shone brightly in Clarke’s eyes.

Against her better judgement the blonde tore her eyes away from the stars and reached for her phone lying beside her on her bed, sighing and unlocking her phone she opened Lexa’s contact she put in earlier today.

**_CLARKE{10:54pm} hey_ **

**_LEXA{11:00pm} hey, how are you?, I meant to call earlier_ **

**_CLARKE{11:02pm} I’m alright, been a few hectic days, how are you?_ **

**_LEXA{11:03pm} I’m good, I sent Finn packing btw. He won’t be using me as his tutor anymore_ **

**_CLARKE{11.05pm} that’s good, I’m sorry again about throwing you under the bus_ **

**_LEXA{11:05pm} at least we were under the bus together ;)_ **

**_CLARKE{11:06pm} maybe I could make it up it up to you sometime? Lunch at my place or something?_ **

**_CLARKE{11:06pm} this Friday suit you?_ **

**_LEXA{11:08pm} sounds great, just text me your address. Also..I wanted to ask, you alright from today? I know that sounds strange_ **

**_CLARKE{11:11pm} yeah I’m fine : ), there’s a tiny bruise on my arm but it’s nothing_ **

**_LEXA{11:12pm} hope you’re alright : ) night Clarke, I’m glad you texted me_ **

**_CLARKE{11:12pm} Night Lexa, thank you._ **

Clarke returned to staring at the stars on her roof, she thought she ought to tell Lexa she can’t cook but she figure out that later, for now, sleep called.

The week came and went as Clarke spent her time getting back into the routine she held before her month away, trying to get back into the routine of managing work and school helped her sleep every night as they added to her overall exhaustion, there was nothing she cared about more at the end of her day than falling into bed.

~~

Clarke jolted awake at the sound of knocking at her front door. Lazily wiping drool off her face she pushed her aching joints to see who was behind the knocking, when she saw Lexa it dawned that she had slept in and was already twelve in the afternoon.

“I am so sorry” the blonde’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped as she saw Lexa at the door, it dawned on her that she had slept in until midday. “It’s been a busy week and I didn’t mean to sleep in-“Clarke began to ramble until Lexa cut her off as she let the girl in and led her to the couch.

“It’s okay, Clarke, really” Lexa smiled graciously and Clarke sagged in relief of how understanding she is. “How about you go get changed and I’ll run down and get us some kebabs?” that smile never left her face. If Clarke had no self-control she would have kissed her then and there but instead settled for squeezing her arm and running off her order.

Clarke emerged from her bathroom clean and clothed as the smell of kebabs sifted through the apartment signalling Lexa’s return with lunch. Soon the girls were sat at Clarke’s small table eagerly digging into their food.  
In record time Clarke had devoured her lunch and now sat thinking about the girl across from her when it hit her she knew nothing about her; they may have shared a sweaty and half naked half an hour but that didn’t mean she was anything more than a stranger. As if Lexa could tell what the blonde was thinking the girl stopped eating and looked at her with doe eyes.

With her brows slightly furrowed the brunette cautiously asked “what?”

“Nothing, I just realised I know nothing about you” Clarke now rested her head on her hands and looked the girl in the eye.

“What is it you want to know, Clarke?” Lexa moved to lean back in her chair as Clarke racked her brain to find questions.

“I don’t know” the blonde smirked “where did you grow up? What colour were your parents eyes? Siblings? Pets?”

“Those are very bland questions” was Lexa’s reply

“Well unless you wanted to start day drinking those are all my brain could conjure up, and don’t try and change the subject” Clarke teased Lexa trying to get the answers out of her.

“Fine” the girl laughed softly “I grew up, up north in the rainforest areas, I don’t know what colour my parent’s eyes were, I’m an only child and I have a cat, see if you ask bland questions you get bland answers”

“Were?” Clarke enquired

“Hmm?”

“Your parents” she prompted.

“Oh” Lexa lazily waved an arm “I was adopted when I was two so I only my adoptive mother’s eye colour, which, for the record are brown” she smirked at the blonde. “You need better questions”

This was starting to resemble last week all over again she thought as the two sat on her couch, closer to each other than before

“Alright” Lexa began “the best way to get to know someone is to talk about their parents” Clarke instantly regretted her decision. “What were you doing with your dad this time last year?” Lexa, smirked, sitting back down, closer to her this time.

_Fuck_

Clarke didn’t know how to avoid the situation so she hoped mumbling would allow the predicament to pass quicker. “My dad passed away” It all came out rushed and as she looked back at Lexa who had pursed her lips trying to decipher what she had said, a moment later her face shifted into not what Clarke thought it was shift into, curiosity mixed with sadness had washed over the brunette’s features. “But I don’t want to elaborate on it now” she added firmly.

“Why do you say it so quietly?” Clarke looked up at the girl, she didn’t even realise she had said it quietly, she allowed herself to become annoyed at the pressing of the subject and tried to change the subject.

“Do you have any tattoos?” Clarke knew her face reflected some anger but today was not the day to start talking about her dead father with someone she barely knew so she forced a wan smile.

Lexa’s eyes questioned her but she still answered her questions “Yeah, but they require my shirt coming off”

“I wouldn’t mind that” Clarke joked, switching the mood in an instant, not realising she joked out loud.

A laugh came out of Lexa’s lips “Yeah?”

“Oh, I was joking” a deep red spread it’s way across the blonde’s cheeks, warming them

“That’s not a blow to my self-esteem at all” Lexa replied sarcastically as Clarke caught the girl looking her up and down. Clarke heard Lexa sigh in what sounded like defeat “Tell me, Clarke, what your room look like?” the blonde was almost certain Lexa was trying to chat her up and was blaming it on the underlying tension they both felt,

 _Fuck it,_ Clarke thought to herself, this meeting has been weird for her and she was tipsy. “I can show instead of tell?” Clarke cocked an eyebrow and stood up to lead the way to her room to release the sexual tension she didn’t discard last week.

As soon as the blonde shut the door behind her Lexa’s lips were on hers, her tongue seeking entrance and Clarke gladly allowing it, the blonde sneaked a hand behind Lexa’s head to pull her closer as Lexa’s hands were working their way over her breasts, waist and finding their way to the curve of her ass.  
As Clarke worked on unbuttoning the other girl’s shirt she was aware of hands making their way to the insides of her thighs only for their kiss to be broken by Lexa picking her up to lie her on the bed with surprising gentleness. Looking into the green eyes above her she took a moment to think through what she was doing, it was certainly an eventful morning and she didn’t really know how they got to this point but it wasn’t like that was stopping her as she met with Lexa’s lovely lips again. The process of unbuttoning both their shirts and pants was long and they both did it rushed and messily but it added to their need for each other of a sort; Lexa’s lips were on Clarke’s neck very close to where the fading hicky was that she left a few days earlier, she took this moment to reach a hand around Lexa and flip them over so Clarke was on top.

The blonde now sat on Lexa with both her legs on either side of her hips and she sat up to drink in the sight of her, Lexa’s hair was spread mermaid like on her white sheets, the lacy bra on her had it’s left strap falling down the side revealing the top curve of her breast, Clarke quickly removed it and made her way to licking and kissing her breast, hoping there would be a hicky on it tomorrow. The brunette’s hands were felt tangled in Clarke’s hair as she made her way (placing kisses as she went) down to where her mouth met her underwear, she didn’t waste any time removing the soaking panties off the girl and placing her mouth over Lexa’s wet lips earning a moan from her.

Clarke’s lips were now sucking lightly on her clit as her index finger was playing with her entrance and to play with her she stopped. Lexa whined and leant up on her elbows.

“Why?” she breathed

“How fast do you want to come?” Clarke smirked up at her and bit her lip

“I don’t care, just don’t stop” Lexa then leant back again and looked at the blonde with pleading eyes slightly glazed over. Clarke took the opportunity to slowly slide in one finger and curl it upwards to find Lexa’s G-spot

“FUCK” Lexa’s remark was proof enough that she was not to stop this time as she resumed to letting her tongue circle her clit and run over her lips, exploring every part that made the girl whose legs were open to her squirm.

Clarke didn’t want to admit it but her hand was starting to cramp from the addition of fingers in Lexa but thankfully after giving so much to Lexa she felt the walls around her fingers clench and the brunette’s breathing hitch and get faster and her fingers get tangled in her hair once again as the other hand was clutching the sheets. Lexa had reached her climax and rather quickly, Clarke blamed it on the pent up sexual tension between them but welcomed the girl’s final moans and squirming as she kept pumping her fingers in and out of her throughout her orgasm until her breathing had returned to a normal pace and she had let go of her hair.  
Clarke returned to her position of straddling Lexa with her legs and proceeded to lock eyes with her as she licked her fingers clean; as soon as Clarke leant down to lock lips with her again Lexa expertly flipped them to their original positons, never breaking the kiss.

“Your turn” Lexa whispered against her ear ad Clarke braced herself for the treatment she just gave.

~~~~

Three hours later after Lexa’s arrival Clarke and Lexa were now shoulder to shoulder, still naked on the blonde’s bed after their unplanned and partly unexpected booty call. Clarke felt it was time to kill the mood.

The blonde turned towards Lexa “Lexa, having sex with you is great, and I think you’re a really interesting person and again, the sex is great but I just need to clear up that I can’t really do a relationship right now” Clarke was aware of the Lexa’s eyes darting around trying to think of a response.

“That was unexpected” was her only reply

“So was talking about my dead dad and then having sex with you but hey, we’re setting a record for unexpected events” Clarke tried to joke but it wasn’t really the right time.

“I understand, Clarke” the girl nodded to Clarke’s relief “maybe we could make it work as a friendship, you’re a great person”

The blonde smiled and thanked the stars she happened to have the most understanding person in the world lying next to her. “yeah, we can make it work” Clarke smiled and turned back to look at the stars on her roof, she felt good; not just because she had sex but because in the midst of the events in her life at the moment she has begun to make a solid friendship, even if it was in the most ridiculous ways.


	5. Cigarettes and Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Lincoln's birthday party and Octavia throws a party that gets a tad out of hand when they run out of Ice.

Three months.

Three months since “maybe we could make it work as a friendship” and still, every time Lexa saw Clarke she couldn’t forget no matter how many times she tried; The two times they shared beds, how her lips, her skin even her breath felt on hers. Now as Clarke and her were huddled in the emergency room at the hospital she reluctantly snuck glances at the blonde beside her. She took in the way her eyes drooped in her exhaustion, even the way she slumped in the chair, tapping her foot in in-patience.

“Bellamy Blake and John murphy” the nurse’s voice rang loudly over the moans and groans of the emergency room and turned both girls attention to the two boys beside them with bloody noses and bruised cheeks.

“Come on, you morons” Clarke’s fatigued voice urged the two up from their seats so they could follow the nurse’s blue scrubs down the white, identical walls to a bed hidden behind a curtain. Bellamy and Murphy both groaned as they moved to sit on the bed, giving each other death stairs as they were forced to be in the same proximity as one another.

“My name is Jenny” the nurse sighed, deeply “What happened here?”

As the boys gave each other hostile glances Lexa cut in “Well you see we were at a party…..”

\-------

Earlier in the night:

“Is this an adult party or a party-party?” Anya questioned Lexa as they shuffled down the isles at the liquor store.

“I don’t know, just pick what you want to drink and lets get going” the brunette replied while looking at her phone. Thankfully Anya picked a six pack of something alcoholic and sugary and the two could make their way to the checkout and finally to Lincoln and Octavia’s apartment for Lincoln’s birthday celebration; even though they had seen him days earlier when it actually was his birthday, Octavia insisted they come along to the party for good measures.

The sky outside the store was still illuminated by the setting sun, with soft oranges and blues swirling their way through the clouds. Thanks to the summer months the sun doesn’t fully set until 9pm so their relatively short walk in the warm air, over busy streets and through the last round of employees making their way home was rather pleasant.

“When was the last time you talked to Clarke?” Anya looked beside her before crossing the road as Lexa trailed behind her shortly after.

“We hung out two weeks ago” Lexa thought back to where they shared a coffee before catching the tram together to their separate universities that happened to be on the line.

“I think I’m beginning to get used to her” at that Lexa’s eyes widened, Anya wasn’t one to “get used” to people, she mainly just puts up with them. “Don’t look at me like that” Anya playfully shoved her with her free arm; “I just mean that I like that she’s a good friend to you, even though you slept together twice, she hasn’t made it weird”.

“If you keep bringing that up it will get weird” Lexa responded as the two turned the corner that lead to the entrance of the apartment block. Anya shifted the weight if the six pack she was holding so she could get out the spare key Lincoln have to them and get them into the building so their night could begin properly.

The house was already filled with people, some she knew, some she didn’t. Lexa could recognise Clarke’s roommate: Raven speaking to Octavia across the room, the two of them leaning in close to hear over the music blaring around them.

“Hey” Lincoln’s voice directed their attention away from scoping out the party, he kissed them both on the cheek and thanked them for arriving. “The fridge is over there” he pointed behind Anya to the kitchen where Anya then proceeded to move through the guests to begin her night Lexa would catch up with her later.

Lexa wasn’t one to party often. Gatherings she felt more at home with, she didn’t mind amount of people but parties just didn’t have an inclusive nature to them, everyone is in groups and always finding something to do whether it be talking, drinking or dancing; there’s no opportunities to just sit and talk while having a beer, nothing casual about it.   
After a while of walking around bumping into people she knew and making polite conversation she found herself outside on the small balcony, escaping the endless cheers cascading from the games of beer pong. The sun had now set and the soft colours in the clouds were now replaced by the pitch black of the night sky, now with only the stars looking down on her, she sat on the small bench placed out there for decoration where she lit a cigarette.

“Nasty habit you know” Lexa’s attention turned the door she came in open and reveal a very drunk Raven who perched herself in the space next to her.

“I know” Lexa responded as she brought the cigarette to her lips only to have it stolen out of her fingers by the girl next to her who took a drag from it herself. The drunk Raven proceeded to attempt to blow out smoke rings and Lexa accepted she wasn’t getting that cigarette back.

“I used to be good at that” the tan girl mumbled to herself “you know you should come over more, you’re interesting” the alcohol she was drinking was making her words slur a bit.

“When Clarke invites me I’ll come over”

“She’s too stubborn” Raven sighed as Lexa furrowed her brown in confusion.

“What do you mean?” Lexa inquired.

“She’s too stubborn to admit she’s lonely, in three months the only thing she’s done is go to school, work and see Abbey” Raven pursed her lips and sighed again. Now the brunette had thought about it, She had only seen the blonde on weekdays when they had met up before going to school and whenever Clarke said she was free (which wasn’t often) though Lexa had never thought too much into it.

“Is her mother getting any better?” Lexa knew not to pry but she was beginning to become more and more curious.

“No” Raven pinched the bridge of her nose and took a long swig of her drink “I shouldn’t be telling you any of this but you’re the sanest person here”

Lexa didn’t really know if that was a compliment or not so she settled with “thanks?”

“Abbey has a brain aneurism” Raven didn’t look at her but both girls remained quiet, Lexa felt like she should stop Raven from going any further in case she might regret it when she’s sober.

“I don’t think you should be telling me this-“ Lexa tried to stop Raven from continuing but she was cut off with Raven putting a finger to her lips and shushing her.

“Shh, just don’t tell Clarke I told you and we’ll be fine” Raven put a hand on Lexa’s shoulder to steady herself as she stood to lean against the wall. “She’s had it for a while but she’s also had ridiculous blood pressure from the stress of her job so it’s not looking too bright.” The way the girl talked about the situation was almost comical thanks to her drunken slur, she paused to continue on the cigarette. “In the state she’s in, she’s pretty much a ticking time bomb, a huge law suit has been issued onto the hospital where she works and it’s just making her health worse; Clarke’s way of dealing with it is to convince herself that she’s accepting the situation when she’s really working herself into the ground in denial”

Lexa didn’t know what to do with all this new and very distressing news, she felt for Clarke but there was nothing she could do. She knew that she had to keep it quiet but secrets went against her morals. “What do you expect me to do with this information?” She looked up at the girl who stamped on the cigarette that she had finished for her.

“I don’t know but someone needed to know, anyway I’m going to go hit on your roommate, toodles” and with a lazy wave of her hand Raven stumbled back into the party leaving Lexa much more distraught than she was five minutes ago.

“Well, fuck” She pulled out another cigarette and lit it, intending to finish it this time.

******

Clarke had arrived at Lincoln’s party gaining on almost three hours late, with Bellamy, Japer and Monty in toe, the three were met by a very “disappointed” Octavia who insisted the “personally apologise” to Lincoln, who, of course just laughed and then thanked them for turning up.

Walking through the people that littered Octavia’s apartment, water bottle in hand she, one by one, bumped into people she knew; an extremely drunk Raven being one of them, though she didn’t really ‘bump’ into her, it was more Raven almost _falling_ into Clarke.

“OhmygodClarke!” a slurring mess of what once was the blonde’s roommate came hurtling toward her.

“Jesus, you are smashed” she laughed while hugging Raven in an embrace that more resembled Clarke holding her up.

“I started drinking at like four” Raven went to lift her glass to her lips as Clarke took it out of her hands and set it on the table beside her.

“I think you’ve had enough, lets get you somewhere quiet” and with that Clarke helped a stumbling Raven through the party  and into Octavia’s room where she could let her down and give her the bottle of water, still in her hand. “You going to be alright? I’ll tell Octavia to let you crash here tonight”

“Thanks Griffin” Raven sloppily reached out her hand to grasp hers. Clarke stood to leave the room and let the girl sleep but was stopped by Raven calling her back. “I told Lexa about Abbey” Raven whispered to the blonde and then, right on cue fell asleep.

_Fucking hell_

Trying to shake Raven into wakefulness proved no help as she just stayed in her slumber. Clarke didn’t know what to do now, if she went out and saw Lexa would she have to bring it up? She was angry, not at Raven but at herself; if she didn’t tell the girl every detail this may have never happened. Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose and forced her anger down, This night was not about her, it was about Lincoln; so with that she opened the door back to the party only to walk straight into another’s body.

_“_ Shit, sorry” Clarke didn’t look up to see who it was she just walked into and tried to walk passed them to find Octavia.

“Hey, Princess” Now she did look up, she hadn’t been called that in a while. Murphy’s face looked back at her, a face she hadn’t seen, that none of them had seen in months.

“What are you doing here?” Clarke was sure her faced mimicked the confusion she was feeling.

“I was invited” He smirked “Turns out Lincoln doesn’t hate me like the rest of you do”. Clarke didn’t hate Murphy, not Like Bellamy did, she merely had to bare him in small doses.

“Well, don’t let Bellamy see you, I don’t really feel up to a trip to the hospital” Clarke tried to joke with him but deep down she knew that if the two did end up fighting about something a trip to the ER would  be in order.

“See you around, Princess” he nodded once and left her to proceed with her previous task of finding Octavia and venting her anger about Raven, though, after the meeting with Murphy, the surprise of seeing him had complete, to her ironic surprise, overridden her anger. She silently thanked him as she moved through the sea of people until she found herself in the small kitchen.

“Clarke” Lexa’s voice greeted Clarke as she opened the fridge.

“Hey Lexa” the blonde retrieved a bottle of water and moved to lean against the appliance. “Hey Anya” she greeted the other blonde who just smiled and nodded to her.

“When did you arrive?” Lexa inquired.

“a while ago, I had to put Raven to bed” Clarke smiled “I got off work late and I had to pick up Bellamy, so I ended up being like three hours late” to Clarke’s enjoyment, she saw Lexa’s eyes light up as she smiled too.

“Do you want a drink?” the brunette began to move as Clarke cut her off.

“No thanks” she held up her water “I’m driving tonight” Lexa smiled in understanding and then leaned in close to her ear, to that Clarke’s heart skipped a beat but it was only so that they could hear over the bare of the music.

“Can we go talk somewhere?” Clarke pursed her lips, it was most likely to talk about what Raven had told her, something she _did not_ want to talk about but she didn’t know how to say that to her without hurting her feelings.

“Yeah, sure” she replied reluctantly as Lexa continued to lead her to Octavia’s _very_ small balcony where they leant against the railing, side by side and waited for one of them to talk.

It was Clarke, “Raven told me that she told you about my mum”

“Yes, she told me not to tell you but” she paused “I don’t like secrets”

“Don’t worry it’s understandable, it’s not exactly the usual thing you hear, but” Clarke paused as well “if you don’t mind, it not exactly something I want to talk about”

“I understand” Lexa agreed. Clarke had to stop dragging her into her life problems, first Finn and now this? This friendship will be strained in no time if this is kept up. “Why are you so secretive about it?” Clarke knew Lexa didn’t mean to pry but her questions seemed to convey otherwise.

“I know you mean well and I know we’re close but this is a personal matter” she could feel the anger she felt from Raven earlier rise up inside her and this time she didn’t force it down; with that she muttered an apology to Lexa and left the balcony and headed back to the kitchen where there were less people and more quiet.

Lincoln looked at Clarke as he walked into the empty area where she had been seated for the past who-knows-how-long “Hey” his brows furrowed at the sight of her pouting face “You right?”

She was always thankful for his kindness “Yeah, just a bit loud out there” she replied, he smiled.

“Yeah, hopefully people will start leaving in a few hours, it’s already past midnight” he moved from leaning on the bench  “I’m out of ice, want to come down to 7-11 with me?”.

“Sure, need some fresh air anyway” The two, Clarke trailing behind Lincoln’s larger body slipped out the door without alerting anyone and made their way down the stairs to the entrance of the building, luckily they only live on the third floor so the stairs are never too far or too short, though on hot nights like this one they seem a bit much.  
By halfway down the last flight of stairs the two began to hear yelling, they both shared confused looks and as they kept walking they recognised Bellamy’s voice merging with Murphy’s.

“Shit” was all Lincoln exclaimed before running outside to break up the fight before someone around them called the Police, Clarke ran after him and just managed to miss Bellamy slamming Murphy’s body into the wall beside her, the two were in a mind of their own and not Listening or responding to Lincoln try to tear their arms off each other as they were throwing punches.   
In a split second as Lincoln had managed to hold off Bellamy for long enough, Clarke saw Murphy move away from the wall he was pinned to and move forward to start another round of punches, Clarke, against any thought of common sense, threw herself in the middle, between the two boys and extended her arms to keep them at bay.

“Calm down or else the police are going to turn up” She almost growled as she exchanged glances between them, she could vaguely hear the door beside her open and close but she was not at liberty to see who it was. “You are both acting like kids and if you keep going, someone’s going to throw a king hit” the word of “king hit” got both their attention and they both looked at her and seemed to recognise the situation as they lowered their hands and their hateful gaze from each other. Clarke lowered her hands as well and added finally: “I’m going to take you two the hospital, if you start trouble, I will push you out of the car” Bellamy and Murphy nodded slightly as Lincoln reluctantly released Bellamy’s arms.

Clarke knew that getting involved in that fight was dangerous and it could have ended up badly for her but she reaction in the spur of the moment and thankfully it ended in her favour with the Lexa and Murphy in the back of her car, Lexa “insisting” she come along when she turned up just in time to see Clarke throw herself into the middle of a fight, to make sure no bad happens and Bellamy the front with her, the boys are separated like two siblings fighting by their parents on a car trip but, just like that scenario, it worked.

********

Back at the hospital:

“So what was the fight actually about?” Jenny asked while tending to a gash on Murphy’s cheek bone. The two boys exchanged embarrassed looks and refused to answer.

Clarke, who now stood, leaning against a wall with her arms crossed looked like a severely disappointed mother “They don’t actually remember”. At that Jenny just laughed and proceeded to fix the pouty boys on the bed.

Clarke moved and went over to Lexa, “I’m just going to make a call, I’ll be back” she nodded and the blonde left to make her way to the nurses station.

“Do you know if Abbey Griffin is working tonight?” she asked the first nurse she saw, after a moment of scrolling she had her answer: “No, sorry, she went home with a migraine”. Concern and worry flared up inside her as she shoved it down dismissing it as nothing. “Thank you” she smiled a wan smile and left to type her mother’s phone number into her phone. All three times she called it hit Voice mail, Clarke dismissed it as being just because it’s two In the morning but there was no denying the worry and anxiety at the possible outcomes that could be why she was not picking up her phone.

Making her way back to the small space where Bellamy and Murphy now stood with some small stiches and bandages she glared at them both. “If you two pull a stunt like that again I will personally beat you up” Clarke couldn’t fathom how stupid they were to pick a fight in the middle of the street over something they didn’t even remember. Clarke turned to Lexa “Do you need a lift home?” The brunette politely shook her head.

“No thank you, I’ll get a taxi”

“That’s what you two can do as well” she directed that at Murphy and Bellamy. Turning to Lexa for the last time she pulled her in for an embrace which the girl, thankfully, returned. “Thank you, text me when you get home” she released the girl and thanked her again as she left to let go of her exhaustion in the comfort of her own home.

 

 

The kindness of Lexa is a reoccurring trait, Clarke had yet to see her angry and she often found herself wondering about the different sides of the girl. She desperately wanted to get to know her from all angles, as well as her body but there was no time for that. A relationship is what she wanted and in the past months she had felt herself falling for the girl but always kept herself distant enough to not let herself act on her feelings. To help the loneliness she felt at night, and now as she lay in her bed, looking at her stars she often thought of Lexa, the simple conversations she had with her, tonight was not a great example , but ones before then, those simple times helped her keep going; as cheesy as it sounds, it was true.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too happy with this chapter and I'm sorry it took me so long to finish, I'll try harder in the rest but for now, have fun reading chapter 5 :)  
> also It's really late here so I'll edit tomorrow.
> 
> I'm Australian so if you don't know what I mean by anything i write just tell me and I'll clarify: eg. "King Hit" is an extremely hard blow to the head that causes unconsciousness and sometimes death, aka the Cowards punch.
> 
> find me and my shitposts: tiredplusgay.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks for reading guys :)


	6. Money and Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally accepts her feeling for Lexa but is sidetracked by a call.
> 
> “What do you say Clarke? Shall we make a bet?” Octavia walked over and waved the money in her face as Clarke laughed and slapped her hand away.  
> “What would that bet be exactly?” Clarke put her mug down and crossed her arms, she thought about accepting this challenge.  
> “I’ll give you Raven’s glorious $20 if you go ask out Lexa tonight”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.  
> I just started school in February and I'm in my last year so this stress it ridiculous. I swear I will try to do better in updating.
> 
> also I'm sorry for how under developed this chapter is, i promise i'll try harder. anyway, please enjoy whatever this is.
> 
> find me and my shitposts at tredplusgay.tumblr.com

Clarke stared at the half finished document on her computer screen. It stared back.

She has been sitting at her desk for half the day trying to get her last assignment before the semester break done. The words just stopped working in her brain as she slumped back in her seat in defeat. The assignment had won for now.

Saving her work and opening up Facebook she scrolled through everyone’s posts about their days, Octavia’s, Bellamy’s, Raven’s, until she saw Lexa’s most recent post and paused. For a few weeks now the same girl had been appearing in Lexa’s posts, the two hadn’t talked much since their trip to the ER and since then Clarke had noticed the introduction of a new person in her life. There was no denying the jealousy that bubbled up inside her every time she saw that girl in her posts, she knew it was petty and shallow but she couldn’t help it, she’s fallen for Lexa, whether she likes it or not, she didn’t fall slowly either. After Lincoln’s party and the hospital all Clarke wanted to of was confide in her, she felt comfortable, _safe_ , around her but stubborn little her convinced herself she had to keep up the façade of being annoyed at her for knowing about her Mother’s condition.

Of course there was no evidence of them dating but Clarke’s mind often jumped to conclusions and had a habit of staying on them. Sighing she closed Facebook and forced down the jealously inside her, Looking at her phone she decided she need some lunch; so she dialled Bellamy’s number hoping he had finished work by now.

“Hello?” Bellamy’s raspy voice rang through the phone.

“Hey, are you off work yet?” she began.

“No, not yet, I’ve got a break for an hour and a half though, what’s up?”

“Nothing, Want to get lunch?”

“Sure, meet you at the gym in a bit?”

“Sounds good, see you”

It was fair to say as Clarke waited she was stretching it when she asked to go for lunch, it was now reaching 3:30pm when Bellamy turned up. He still wore half his gym clothes and his hair looked wet with what was hopefully water and not sweat.  
The two walked down the semi busy street, the sun hid behind clouds as they walked and caught up on their days, when she looked beside her to his face she could see the bruise Murphy had left on his cheek and lip had healed completely, she smiled at the thought of how childish they were at that hospital.

“How’s that assignment coming along?” he asked.

“It’s not, I’ve been cooped up all day trying to finish it, I think my brain began to shut down” at that he laughed.

“You’ll be right Griffin, you’re a trooper” Bellamy complimented her and stopped “You want to try here?” he pointed to the pizza place right beside them.

The two sat near the window, it wasn’t a big place but it wasn’t small either and soon their steaming hot pizza was delivered to them and they dug in.

“Have you talked to Octavia lately?” Clarke asked, wiping sauce of her chin.

“Not talked exactly” he smiled “She spent a while yelling at me for getting into a fight, she said it was fine if I wanted to fight but not to do it at her party, drunk in the street”

“She has a very good point” Clarke smirked at him.

“That she does, she said the only way I can make it up to her is to ‘stop being a dickhead’” he made quotation marks with his hands.

“She’s reaching for the starts there” Clarke joked as Bellamy threw a piece of pineapple at her “Hey!” she exclaimed while Bellamy just laughed.

“Lexa came to the gym the other day” Her name got Clarke’s attention so she put the food in her hand down.

“Was she with another person?” she muttered, not looking up at him.

Bellamy nodded “Why?”

“No reason”

“Oh my God”

“What?” she looked up at him now, confusion in her eyes.

“You’re jealous” he smirked.

“Am not” she couldn’t help the blush spreading across her cheeks.

“Are too” he let out a laugh “You’d have to be blind to not realise you’re into her by now”

“I _am_ into her, just-“she paused “It’s bad timing” she added as he smiled tenderly in understanding.

“For all you know she may her cousin or something” he responded through a mouthful of cheese.

“She could also be dating her” Clarke retorted.

“Just talk to her, You guys will be fine” he smiled an picked a piece of Clarke’s food up and ate it.

 

Later that night Clarke sat, once again in front of her almost finished assignment, the clock was reaching 10pm so she allowed herself to have a break. Leaning back in her chair and rubbing the sleep from her eyes she allowed her mind to wonder.   
Abbey had been doing well, her blood pressure was normal and Clarke had been seeing her less in the past weeks, she was feeling less tense and on edge as a result of the good news. With the slight easing of stress in her life, she had been thinking of reaching out to Lexa, Clarke had been thinking of asking her to hang out more, instead of getting a coffee before uni, inviting her to have dinner with her and Raven. She had been reluctant and as a result hadn’t done any of those things; now she has let herself become petty and Jealous because of a few Facebook posts, she really had set a record of making an ass of herself in her head.

Walking into the lounge room she fell into the couch interrupting the conversation (or lack thereof) between Raven and Octavia. The two girls were stuck into whatever was on the tv.

“How’s the assignment going?” Raven asked without looking at her.

“Good” Clarke mumbled.

“What’s wrong buddy?”  Octavia piped up.

Clarke sighed “I want to ask Lexa out, but I think she’s dating someone else and now I can’t stop worrying that I can’t finish my assignment”. Raven and Octavia now turned to look at her.

“What happened to not dating anyone this year?” Octavia joked. Clarke’s New Year resolution was no dating so she could concentrate on school, it hadn’t excluded one night stands though.

“It crashed and burned, I like Lexa, I thought it was a crush that would go away but” she paused and pouted “It’s not” she admitted.

“Yeah we could all see that, it’s a miracle if Lexa already hasn’t” was Raven’s reply, as Clarke shook her head dismissing Raven’s comment.

“Just be honest with her, she’ll appreciate it even if she is dating someone” Octavia said, Clarke knew she was right but it was easier said than done.

Sighing she stood up off the couch and stretched, her aching joints were tender from sitting down in her desk chair all day.

“Move out of the way” Octavia’s once supportive voice ordered her to move out if her view of the t.v “We’ll never found out who’s the killer”

“Whatever, have fun with _midsummer murders”_ Clarke joked at the two as their eyes remained glued to the t.v to see who the killer was. Moving to the kitchen she got the milk out to make a hot chocolate and so she would have some privacy to call Abbey. Manoeuvring her hands to allow her to scoop chocolate powder into her mug while putting her phone to her ear proved difficult but she succeeded as she heard Abbey pick up.

“Hello?” she heard her mother’s tired voice since she was ringing at least 10pm.

“Hey mum, just checking up” Clarke replied while struggling to put the lid back on the now empty milk bottle.

“Well I’m fine, good in fact, had a long day at work so I was going to bed”

“Sorry, to keep you from it, Is that court case getting any better?” Clarke inquired

“it’s still rocky, but better, I’m sorry Clark but I have to sleep” her mother’s voice urged her to hang up.

“Night mum, talk soon”

“Good night Clarke” With that, Abbey hung up and Clarke’s stressors were somewhat eased on her mother’s assurance about her health but of course, her stressed was never fully eased. Taking a sip of the milky chocolate in the mug in her hand she decided to text Lexa.

She had her contact open in her ‘new message’ tab but she hesitated to actually start typing. Clarke knew what she wanted to say to her but the words did not want to appear on her phone. She desperately wanted to ask to meet up and walk away into the sunset with her but she knew that was too far out of her reach.  
Instead of staring at her phone like an idiot she locked it and put it back in her pocket. She would be a coward around Lexa forever at this rate and she mentally cursed herself for it.

Abruptly she heard Octavia’s voice loudly from the other room “I KNEW IT!” the girl yelled at the top of her lungs as Clarke turned with her now made hot chocolate she saw Octavia standing up and holding her palm out to Raven.

“That will be $20 thank you very much” The brunette’s proud voice and huge smile looked down on Raven as the other girl reluctantly pulled a $20 note out of her back pocket.

“What do you say Clarke? Shall we make a bet?” Octavia walked over and waved the money in her face as Clarke laughed and slapped her hand away.

“What would that bet be exactly?” Clarke put her mug down and crossed her arms, she thought about accepting this challenge.

“I’ll give you Raven’s glorious $20 if you go ask out Lexa tonight” Clarke let out a laugh.

“Make it $100 and I’ll think about it” she dismissed the victor in front of her.

“Your loss” Clarke’s smile faulted for a moment as she realised that not taking that challenge really would be her loss if she didn’t gather her courage up soon and actually ask her out, her feelings won’t stay at bay forever.

 “Alright Kids, well, we’ve run out of milk so I’m just going to get some more”

“Be safe!” Raven called out as Clarke grabbed her phone and closed the apartment door behind her.  
  
Walking out of the apartment building, the time was now 10:30pm and the sky was dark and illuminated by the streetlights. The ‘ding’ of trams accompanied Clarke as she walked up the almost empty street towards the nearest 7-11. She enjoyed the light strain on her legs since she had spent most of the day cooped up in her study, she felt the muggy night air sit upon her skin. The night felt still, like the wind, the sky were not moving at all, and it was only her and the people that she shared the path with were the ones that moved. It was an odd feeling, as if time was slowing down though her body was not. Clarke shook her head and got rid of the intrusive thought while she turned into the illuminated 7-11 on her left to get litre of Milk.  
Buzzing in her pocket diverted Clarke’s attention away from the fridge that currently was giving her goose bumps, grabbing her phone she say he mother’s name appearing on the screen. He felt a pang of worry in her gut and answered it without hesitation.

“I just called you a whi-“she was cut off by a voice that was not her mother’s

“Clarke, it’s Marcus” there was urgency in her Mother’s friends voice.

“Is everything okay?” Clarke’s hand was gripping the handle of the fridge so tight her knuckles turned white and she couldn’t help the anxiety that rose in her.

“Just ….get to the hospital” he went silent and hung up on her, leaving Clarke to forget about the milk and sprint out of the store and onto the nearest taxi.


	7. Blue Hair and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke deals with a crisis and hooks up with someone with blue hair.
> 
> "Hey! Blondie!” Clarke’s attention on the road in front of her was diverted to someone calling her from behind, she turned to look at a drunk young woman with bright blue hair and a pair of skin tight jeans who had just emerged from some various place.  
> “You right Love?” she practically yelled at her,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if this is good or not because i smashed this out today, it was crazy.  
> hope you enjoy because i am so tired, so so tired, i'll edit in the morning.
> 
> thanks for dealing with my horrible lack of updates i swear i will try to do better.

Clarke didn’t know how long it had been, she was crouched with her head in her hands. Her body was not steady as her crouch was more lopsided, with her left leg turned in towards her and almost on the floor. She was in a stance where she felt her shoulder blades dig painfully into the wall behind her, the wall that was the only thing separating her from the body of her dead mother laying in the next room. Her breathing was heavy as she gripped her forehead tighter.

Clarke’s hands were slipping from the sweat that formed on her forehead, her body was shaking but her mind was clear, not clear but so foggy that it felt like there were no thoughts in It at all, so foggy that she couldn’t form any plans for what to do now.

 

What was she to do now?

 

“What the fuck do I do now?” it was a barely a whisper that emerged from her mouth but she didn’t know what else to say. She had no idea what to do, Clarke knew that shouldn’t bare to see her mother’s face again, to face Marcus; she couldn’t go home, she could barely move. Her body refused to move from her position, refused to function. There was no guidebook to tell you what to do once both your parents die, she was young, she had no aunts or uncles, she was utterly alone.

Her sweaty hands tried to grip the wall as she attempted to haul herself up to a standing position. Her legs refused to support her as she immediately doubled over, bracing her hands on her thighs. She breathing becoming ragged. For a second time she made it to standing, but only with the wall supporting her, the ache in her legs from crouching urged her to move. Clarke took a shaky step forward and using the wall to support her, took her second, her third, until she made it to the doors of the hospital that she entered from. She couldn’t help the overwhelming guilt  that flooded her senses as she left the hospital that held her mother but that place was toxic for her to be, there were no answers in that building.

Her hands gripped her arms with dear life, she felt sick as she looked back at that hospital. All she saw when she looked back at that building was the face of both her dead parents. She never wanted to see that building again, she cursed it. Clarke didn’t know where she was going, her phone alerted her that it was approaching 2am and the almost hundreds of missed calls from Octavia, Raven and Bellamy, there were even calls from Lincoln signalled that she would have to ring them at some point. She couldn’t bare to talk to anyone yet, so she just walked, passed the hundreds of closed cafes, open bars, pubs, clubs. She just walked around the bustling night life of the city, taking in the florescent lights and bumping into the people heading to the clubs, already smashed out of their minds, she envied their carelessness.

  
Somewhere in her walk that more resembled stumbling, she sat down, too tired to find a bench so she sat on the curb outside of the millionth club she had seen. Her feet ached and her head still refused to function, she still didn't know what to do. She was lost and she mentally cursed herself for not knowing better and not going home.

“Hey! Blondie!” Clarke’s attention on the road in front of her was diverted to someone calling her from behind, she turned to look at a drunk young woman with bright blue hair and a pair of skin tight jeans who had just emerged from some various place.  
“You right Love?” she practically yelled at her, Clarke didn't know what response to give the woman, to nod and continue to stare at the road or to shake her head and possibly confide in the woman.  
“Come in, have a drink with us” before Clarke could potentially protest she was dragged by the blue haired woman into the club she possibly just came out from.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch your name” she yelled, trying to assert herself over the blasting music, in this peculiar situation the only thing Clarke wanted to know was the woman’s name, not if she was a serial killer, just her name.

“Rose” She beamed huge smile at Clarke who was sure her own face looked like more of a deer in headlights. Still, she allowed herself to be dragged to the bar, her body didn’t protest to the alcohol being put into her hands either.

Her mind screamed at her that this was a horrible idea, alcohol at a time like this was more than a bad idea. Alas the drinks that Rose put in front of her, she downed and welcomed the fuzziness that overcame her senses and allowed her body to move. Clarke’s hands let go from clutching her arms, her mind felt foggy but her body didn’t feel restricted. It was a horribly misleading reaction that the alcohol gave her, it was almost corrupt that something so simple could help her almost forget the horrific events of her night.  
Rose gave her another drink and the blonde downed it, wanting to drown out that voice in her head that was screaming to be heard, that getting smashed won’t fix anything, she couldn’t listen to reality right now.

Clarke was swaying on her feet as Rose guided her to the bodies that were dancing to the live band that was blaring their music to the audience’s ears. Her body was moving on account of the alcohol, her mind still was covered in fog. Their bodies moved sloppily against each other, Clarke’s drunk mind was desperate for friction, for anything that wouldn’t remind her she was alone. The two got closer and closer until Clarke was aware of her back being slammed against a wall and her lips being interlocked with Rose’s. Rose’s blue hair was knotted in Clarke’s hands as Rose’s hands made their way around her body, Clarke pulled her lips closer to hers in desperation but the more they kissed, her more desperate Clarke became. Clarke pulled away for a moment, with her hands still in her hair she looked at Rose in the flashing, dim light; her eyes were brown, her lips were swollen and when she blinked she saw Lexa’s face for a split moment. She slammed her lips into Rose’s again, furiously trying to drown out Lexa’s face, but failing.

Clarke ended the moment between the two, murmuring a sorry, she moved her way through the dancing bodies towards the bathrooms. She smashed her way through the doors and turned to look herself in the mirror. Bracing her hands on the grubby sink and looking at her reflection she didn’t see Clarke Griffin; she saw a grubby, sweaty girl, blonde hair knotted and plastered to her face with sweat. She saw the hicky’s that lined her jaw and she a reckless girl, running away from her problems. Splashing water on her face she tried to wipe away the drunken sweat from the pain she was in, she didn’t want to be alone, but even in this huge crowd she had never felt more alone in her life.

Blinking only caused her to see Lexa’s face more and more, her eyes, her big, beautiful eyes. Clarke shook her head and exited the bathroom only to be thrown into the crowd once again. She attempted to emerge herself in the music, moving to the beat, jumping with the crowd, she tried so hard to be around as many people as she could, but she couldn’t fight the feeling that she was more alone than before.  
Clarke felt someone behind her, she turned to see a guy, around her height, dark skin and long hair. She let her body take over as she took lead this time, she locked lips with him, replicating her session with Rose, and he didn’t pull back. She shoved down the feeling of discontent that she additionally felt with Rose and continued to pull him closer allowing her to repeat events. She was barley aware of her actions, this situation was not the smartest one she’d ever been in.

“Do you want to get out of here?” he brought his mouth close to her ear and asked. She wanted to say yes just so she could get her mind off her situation but she couldn’t go through I night of meaningless sex with this guy. Not when Lexa was everywhere in her thoughts.

“Sorry, You’re just not who I want” she apologised and left, alcohol still buzzing throughout her body even if the outside air was a shock. She wasn’t even in that club for more than thirty minutes but still, she was desperate to leave. She stumbled down the street and pulled her phone out again. Conveniently Octavia was calling her.

“Hello?” Clarke drunkenly said into the phone, catching her breath.

“Holy shit Clarke where are you!?” Clarke couldn’t hear her properly, her ears still rang from the club. “I almost rang the fucking police!”

“I’m fine” she lied “I went out for a drink, I’ll talk to you later” She didn’t give Octavia time to reply as she hung up the phone. Again shoving down the guilt of ‘walking away’ from the people she loved. She pushed the blonde hair out of her face and walked towards the road and into the empty taxi, she had to get out of here, she had to not be alone.

Opening the yellow door Clarke ran off Lexa’s address to the driver before snuggling into the corner of the backseat trying to focus on convincing herself she wasn’t drunk. But she was. And she wanted Lexa, she _needed_ Lexa.  
The trip took a lifetime, though in reality it was probably only five minutes from the club to Lexa’s apartment. Thanking the driver she got out and unsteadily made her way up the stairs. She only made it up 2 flights before she had to stop and sit down, it was a miracle she hadn’t thrown up yet. She staggered up the rest of the stairs, dragging her legs through the distance, she felt like she had ran a marathon. By the time she made it to her door Clarke had to stop so she could catch her breath, standing, she tried her hardest to look sober but who was she kidding, the odds were that Lexa would just tell her to leave. Biting her nails, Clarke knocked on the door. After no answer she knocked again, desperate she knocked again and again and again, so desperate just to talk to someone. Clarke had now slid down to the floor and bit her nails to the skin.

Clarke had begun to give up hope just as the door opened and Lexa stood there, in a tank top and shorts. Clarke was left speechless, she hadn’t planned past this point; her mouth was dry and she was sure she looked a mess.

“Is everything okay Clarke?” at once Clarke stood up and looked at lexa, she was beautiful, just how she was, she was beautiful.

“No” she whispered as she moved forward to pull her into a kiss, and for a moment Lexa kissed her back and everything felt _right_ , right before she pushed her away.

“I’m sorry, you’re drunk” she apologised, not letting Clarke in further than the doorway.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know where to go” Clarke felt a tear leak out of here eye as she quickly wiped it away. “I-I needed to see you”

“if you come in you have to sober up” she asserted.

“I can’t handle being sober right now, I can hardly handle being drunk either” she avoided eye contact. “I need to tell you something while I’m still drunk” she looked up at Lexa at pleaded with her to let her stay.

Lexa seemed hesitant “Anya’s not here tonight, you can come in, only because I trust you” she warned.

“No it’s okay I can say it here” Clarke took a breath “I like you Lexa. I really like you, from the first time we met to now. I let the stress of worrying about my mum take over my life and I didn’t allow myself to express my feelings for you” Clarke looked up at Lexa and put her hand on the door frame to steady herself “I was so scared I would be alone if she left me, and now she’s gone and I’m alone, I’m so alone Lexa” tears streamed their way down the blonde’s cheeks.

“Come in” Lexa put her arm around Clarke and guided her the sobbing girl to the couch. Clarke’s legs weren’t working as the silent tears kept coming and Clarke’s body refused to function normally.  
Clarke hadn’t told her what had actually happened tonight, she wasn’t ready, she was still terrified to utter the words that she was an orphan. Lexa, being kinder than she should be to Clarke, understood and didn’t push the subject. Three glasses of water and some fruit later Clarke’s head felt clearer and she no longer felt like she wanted to throw up. Lexa was holding her hand. How had she found someone so perfect?

“I feel comfortable with you” Clarke replied, “I feel like I can trust you no matter what, I don’t know why but I do”.

“You should sleep, I expect tomorrow will be a big day after your drinking” Lexa stood up to pick up the glasses but Clarke gently grasped her hand.

“Please stay” Clarke urged.

“Of course” she smiled with the all the kindness in the world, there would be no way she could make this up to her. Clarke closed her eyes, and prayed that Lexa would still be with her when she woke up.


	8. Photographs and Showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still affected by the death of her mother, Clarke begins to cope once again with the loss of a parent. It's time for Clarke to start again, this time, without the support she once had.

Lexa stayed with Clarke the entire night.

The blonde’s head was resting on her thigh, she was fast asleep on her couch, she was a sight to behold. Her hair was knotted and splayed over her face, her clothes smelt like sweat and alcohol and there was a band of red around her eyes. She didn’t know what happened to her last night but whatever it was, she was almost broken by the time she found her curled up in her doorway, drunk and a mess.

Hours had passed since then, her apartment was now light but Lexa hadn’t slept. The way Clarke had grabbed her hand and begged her to stay hadn’t let her go. It hurt her to see Clarke so exposed, it hurt her even more that she couldn’t have stood to be sober, that she was hurting so much she couldn’t bare it. Looking down at the sleeping girl now Lexa gently brushed the hair out of her face and savoured the moment, she looked like a still in a painting, so peaceful and serene, Clarke was beautiful; contrasting to a few hours ago where she was a whirlwind of emotions; but even then. She was beautiful.  
As if on cue Clarke’s eyes fluttered open and winced at the harsh light that streamed in in the gaps in her blinds. Her hands moved from being curled up on her front to wiping her face and groaning in reluctance to being awake.

“How did I get here?” Clarke mumbled into Lexa’s leg, Lexa frowned, she must have drunk a lot last night to not remember what happened.

“Don’t you remember?” she asked while moving her hand to help the girl to sit up. Clarke moved to leaning to rest her elbows on her knees as she held her head in her hands.

“I remember going out for a drink” she smirked and looked at her “there was a girl with blue hair, I don’t remember anything else” Lexa didn’t know how to go about telling her how she had found her.

“You must have had quite a night” she lightly joked.

“It’s funny, I dreamt that I kissed you” Clarke leant back on the couch, pulled the blanket around her and turned to smile at her, Lexa would smile back if the situation was not so serious.

“Clarke…” she started lightly, pausing to think what to say next “we did kiss last night, that wasn’t a dream” she looked into the blonde’s eyes only to see confusion, and fear.

“No” she paused and looked down “if that was real then…” Clarke’s smile faded as her posture slumped.

“Then what?” Lexa put her hand on Clarke’s arm, trying to offer assistance but failing as she shook it off and stood up.

“I have to get home” she whispered still not meeting her gaze, with that, she unsteadily walked past the couch only to for Lexa to grasp her hand this time. Lexa couldn’t help but panic about what state Clarke was in and felt she had to intervene.

“You’re in no state to go back by yourself” she pleaded “let me give you a change of clothes or drive you home at least” Clarke’s hand slightly shook as it was held in hers but Lexa’s gaze with Clarke’s did not waver. The slightest of nods came from Clarke that made Lexa’s lips flicker with a smile of relief, she stood and led her to her room to get her clothes that don’t smell like a night club.

Clarke didn’t say anything as she sat on her bed, her face stayed frozen in a look of despair, Lexa too well knew that look and wanted nothing but to hold her in her arms and tell her that whatever happened, this feeling won’t last. After the kiss from last night, Lexa felt those feelings she had shoved down since the last time they slept together. She felt that longing to be with Clarke, to hold her, to kiss her, and now, more than ever, she felt it again.

 

 

“I’m sorry, I kissed you last night” Lexa had delivered her home, she had refused a change of clothes and still stood in the ones that’s till smelt like booze. Lexa didn’t want to leave her but she had offered as much as she could without pushing herself into the situation at hand. She still worried about her, Clarke’s face was stilled in a look that crossed being hungover and anger, no hint of a positive emotion.

Lexa shook her head “There’s nothing to apologize for, I don’t know what happened last night but you did nothing wrong” Lexa thought back to when the girl confessed her feelings for her “nothing at all”. Clarke looked at her now, the sadness in her eyes was still there and Lexa had to restrain herself from kissing her right then and there just to see some happiness in her eyes.

Clarke moved towards the door, slowly but stopped and turned to look at her again “What else did I do last night?” Lexa smiled at her, Clarke didn’t remember confessing her feelings to her last night, but Lexa did, along with the passionate kiss that came along with it.

Lexa smirked “You said you liked me”

“I must have been feeling brave” Clarke didn’t blush, didn’t smile, the small gestures that she didn’t show hurt her a little. That was until Clarke moved forward and took Lexa’s hand in her own, with kindness and sincerity she looked up with her beautiful eyes, even rimmed with sleep and redness

“Thank you”

The words hung in the air. They needed no explanation. Lexa understood them perfectly, She was still oblivious to the situation at hand but something in her knew it was personal, in a way that elicited the long lost feelings of Costia in her. Feelings that she knew would never go but re surfaced now and again.

“Call me if you need me” Lexa looked into her eyes to emphasise that she was serious. Clarke showed the hint of a smile, Lexa took the chance to lick her lips and learn forward ever so slightly, she fought the urge to back away and return home without doing this. She caught Clarke’s lips with her own and used the slightest of pressure to kiss her. Clarke lips were warm and she wanted more, thankfully the blonde kissed back. She moved her hand to rest softly on her waist and pulled back unwillingly.

“Thank you, Clarke” She squeezed the girl’s hand in a symbol of luck that will hopefully allow her to battle the people that stay behind that apartment door and turned away with a smile that tugged at her lips, refusing to let go.

____

 

Clarke brought her hand up to lightly touch her lips, tracing over the pink flesh she savoured the lingering feeling of Lexa’s touch. She wanted nothing but to follow the woman and pin her against the stair well but alas, she had to face the people inevitably waiting behind the door she faced. Not bothering to ‘ready’ herself to face them she kept her face still, posed with a ‘resting bitch face’ she turned the handle that to her surprise was unlocked and walked into the apartment.

As she suspected almost everyone she knew was crowded into the small space of her living room. Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, even Marcus, who stood out like a sore thumb amongst the others. They lifted their heads at the action of her coming through the door which allowed them all to look like startled deer.

Raven let out a long sigh “Thank fuck you’re alright”. Clarke moved to hug her friend, feeling guilt for leaving her last night, her grip was like iron as she refused to let go.  
Her voice, muffled against the crook of Clarke’s neck spoke again: “You smell like shit Griffin”

Clarke snorted “I know” she sighed “sorry I didn’t come home” Raven released her from the death grip she had her in, Clarke could see that she hadn’t spelt, wither at all or not very well, telling by the red rings around hers eyes that matched her own.

“Just ring us next time you go on a bender” Clarke was thankful for Raven’s humour, if she had remained serious there would be too much tension in the air for her to cope. “Sit down, we gotta talk” Clarke pursed her lips with the realisation she couldn’t get out about some sappy talking about her feelings.

Seated in between Octavia and Lincoln no one was talking. Once she had sat down no one had planned past that point so there was nothing but silent and small glances to one another.

“Shall we talk about the elephant in the room?” Clarke started, sick of the silence, if she _had_ to talk she may as well get it over with. Leaning forward she clasped her hands in front of her and tucked her hair behind her ears, “Lets recap last night” Deciding to be frank she didn’t care to sugar coat the situation “My mother is dead, I am now an orphan, I drank way too much, made out with people I shouldn’t have, ended up at Lexa’s doorstep, kissed her and allowed her to drive me home” she stopped and looked at her friends who looked back at her. “Are we good?” she gave them a wan smile.

They still didn’t talk and Clarke was sick of being the ‘sensitive’ topic. Putting her hands on her thighs she stood up to go to her room before she was stopped by Bellamy.

“Clarke wait-“he started, pleading with her not to go.

She cut him off “No.” she looked at all of them “I am hungover, I smell, I am tired, so I it’s alright with everyone I want to have a shower and a nap” Clarke’s patience was wearing thin, they didn’t understand that she has already lost one parent and she needed time to her own to handle the loss of the other. “I’ll be okay if you just give me space and let me do me, stress less guys”, with that she left for the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror, she was a sight to behold, she wondered how Lexa could even look her in the eyes to kiss her. At the memory of their kiss Clarke smiled and blushed, she felt like schoolgirl with a crush, which technically she was, but it still gave her that warm and fuzzy feelings.  
Turning on the hot water, she took her filthy top off that revealed the left over hickys and bruises from last night’s antics. She felt disgusting, her skin and hair were oily and the mascara she wore last night was smeared along her bottom lash line. She must admit, she’s not the most perfect sight.

Stripping off she got into the shower and welcomed the warm water on her body. The feeling of scrubbing away the dirt, oil and the lingering smell of alcohol was utterly euphoric, in that moment of bliss she was reminded of her mother, and she was left with the feeling of emptiness.   
Like when her father died she didn’t feel sad necessarily, but _empty_ as she struggled to understand and adapt to the fact that he’s never going to come back. She had good memories with her mother, it was a complicated relationship between the two, they fought but they also meant well to each other. After her father died they grew apart, they got used to coping separately, they liked their own space and that’s how they stayed.  
They were both stubborn and didn’t like admitting when they both needed help, the fact that Abby had asked Clarke to stay with her for a whole month to help her ease her stress was a feat, for if she stayed stuck in her ways, Clarke couldn’t help but think that her death could have come sooner. Cursing herself for thinking that way the blonde turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Looking in the mirror again she braced her hands on the sink, clean and washed she felt ready. Not to move on and forget, but to start to cope, again.

Putting her wet hair into a bun and wrapping her body in a towel she crossed the hallway to her room. It was still relatively messy and she didn’t mind it, lying on the bed she looked towards her now shut door, she was reminded of the time, just three months ago where Clarke and Lexa were up against it, their lips locked and their hands around each other in an embrace that nothing could tear apart. She longed for the connection they held in that moment. Just like her mother, that was gone too.

Turning to the right towards her bedside table, Clarke picked up the picture of her and her mother at her high school graduation, looking at it didn’t make her feel any better, it only reminded her of the times that she wouldn’t be there to see. Her mother would never be able to meet Lexa, the woman that makes her daughter’s heart shine with rainbows, and she would not be there for her university graduation, nor the mile stones in her medical career, at least not there physically. Putting her big headphones over hears, she held the photo of her and her mother tightly  as “hungry ghost” drowned out the rest of the people in her apartment, drowned out the rest of the world she did no care to par take in right now.

She was content as she was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, it means a lot :)  
> I'm finishing this fic in the next two weeks, i hope the ending isn't too shit, i'll try my best to made it nice.
> 
> the song mentioned in this chapter is Hungry Ghost by Violent Soho (it's good, check it out)
> 
> I hope to start a new fic after this, send me some prompts guys :) Also i am obsessed with fine stud Lexa (just sayin)
> 
> find me and my shitposts at tiredplusgay.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, this is going to be a series and i really hope it isn't going to suck.  
> find me and my shitposts at: tiredplusgay.tumblr.com


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